83  year old knitter of Chincheros Sometimes I can’t explain. Not exactly. And I don’t want to.

Since Friday night I have felt connected once more, with my chosen world, with the world outside of mine, with the world outside the world, that I will never understand. I absolutely know that right now in this present moment I have exactly ‘the journey I want’… whatever the outcomes turn out to be.

On Friday evening I took action. I wrote my truth on these pages : I found the courage and the confidence to do so. And I moved from uncomfortable to comfortable.

On Thursday night I had a dream.

I was using a dictionary. Below each word was a little bar of the type you find on some batteries: if it pulsed bright red then the word had energy. One word had more than any other: it told me to go to the attic and bring down the manuscript.

I was holding the book, large and flat and in a deep crimson velvet bag. I took the hard cover bound volume and opened it on the wide wooden table. I touched the yellowing paper with its hand-scribed words. Carlos did not need to touch. He felt it first. I saw the dread but also the decision in his eyes. The supernatural power within the manuscript made my skin creep with the sense of ghosts, and yet I kept reaching out to place my fingers on the rough page.

Carlos moved. He folded the papers and placed them back in the red velvet bag. We did not need to speak. We understood each other. I helped him fold the fabric around the cold dead words. We put the bag back. Together we let the darkness go.

I woke up.

The dream was more than a dream. I never have dreams like this. It was real beyond real: my skin crawled, the red of that bag, the expression in Carlos’ eyes, the absolute knowledge that we decided together. We refused to accept the lure of black energy that sucked and dragged at my soul. I felt certain that someone was speaking to me with a clear picture of the choice we had to make: negative to positive, blocked to open,  head to heart.

On Thursday I met with a dear wise friend for lunch. She had returned from Peru’s Sacred Valley. We talked for five hours. We spoke about life’s journey. We spoke of the energies of the earth that some can sense, of sacred places in South America, of Shaman healers she had met. She placed a finely knitted bracelet on my arm, its threads woven by an 83 year old man in a village called Chincheros. She murmured a Sanskrit mantra. She showed me a photograph of the man. We talked of his energy, of the energy residing within the bracelet. After she tied it on my arm I allowed some tears to fall. It was only a bracelet, but it enabled me to let go of something.

On Wednesday I felt stuck. I wanted to shift my thinking closer to following the instinct of my heart rather than the chaos in my head but I it wasn’t happening. I arranged to meet my friend to talk. I knew it would help.

Sometimes I just do not want to pick things apart and try to explain them.

I have never met the 83 year old knitter of Chincheros. But I think he knows me.


6 Responses

  1. That is an awesome dream! Thanks for sharing it.

  2. Dear Miss Tango

    I had to. It was stronger than me and it wanted to be shared!


  3. Sallycat,

    This is an amazing post. Clearly you have so much inside to share gifts and assistance come to you from within and without.

    I don’t think you need any books to guide you and tell you how to write. I think you have all you need, and we’re behind you and your efforts. I hope someday you make it to Peru. I have a feeling it could be very important for you to go there.


  4. Dear dear tangobaby

    Your faith in me inspires me.

    For now at least I sense a clearer way for myself.

    I will first go to Salta in Northern Argentina where the energy is said to be strong too. I feel I need to go there.

    I would like you to take a look at the photograph I took of Carlos in the juice bar. I think it is a special portrait of the most human kind.

    At the moment I feel that I have opened my heart again and that souls and opportunities can touch me once more.
    I am optimistic and believe that my way will become even clearer.
    Just less than a week until I receive a piece of your soul, the book of your photographs…


  5. Hi Sally,

    If that sanskrit mantra gave you any comfort, you might want to check out the following dharma/meditation center. Since I know that you’re a spiritual seeker, I’ve always thought that I should pass this on to you but for some reason never did. If tango has been one source of joy/heart experience for me, the affiliates of this Tibetan Buddhist Meditation Center have been even more so. Hope you aren’t offended by this. Good luck in your spiritual journey. Connie


    Av. Melian 2171 (C1430EXG)
    Buenos Aires
    Tel: (54-11) 4543-4925

  6. Hi Connie,

    No of course I am not offended by what you say. I find it a continual source of strength that people identify with me or care enough to pass their experience and suggestions on to me, and in doing so to the other readers of this blog.

    I will look up the place you mention and see how it feels for me and to where it leads.

    Thank you.


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